after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize