I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
