I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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