Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
