he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
