Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
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