I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
