sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
