it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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