It was confusing and full of hummus
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize