Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
this is an emotional support booty call
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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