Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
this just has baby written all over it
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I AM VODKA MAN
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
