yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
