I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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