I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
