the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
