So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
