You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize