thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
