Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize