Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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