The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize