I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
