Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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