we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I want to fling myself into the sun
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
