I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
