I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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