im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
