No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Success! We fucked roommates!
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