It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
