What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
