It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
