Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
