Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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