God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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