I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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