Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
