At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize