watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
