Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
