Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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