Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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