You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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