just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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