if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she peed on how many people?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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