Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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