im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
