OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
