It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
