mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize