I must be too annoying 4 u.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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