You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
