i just had sex bonerless
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
