I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize