I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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