i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
