What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I am puke
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
