question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
