She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize