i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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