if only i could text you this smell
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
